Only those who have been sat down and told "you have cancer"
can fully appreciate the devastation and turmoil, the total and utter
disruption of one's life that such news brings.
For those indirectly touched by
cancer, the emotions can be devastating as well, but to fully understand
the full impact of those words, one has to be the actual patient. This is not
meant to minimize the impact on those once or twice removed from the
disease. Before I was diagnosed myself, I knew a handful of people, both
diagnosed with cancer and those that succumbed to the disease, but nothing
prepared me for my own diagnosis and prognosis.
To wake up every morning knowing there is this "thing" in your body that is slowly but surely eating away at your very existence is truly frightening. The thought never really ever leaves you. Keeping busy, getting on with your life as best you can, allows you to get a temporary respite, but it is the quiet moments when you are alone and you reflect on your life... the good things, but more importantly the missteps. Before I became ill, I would from time to time reflect how my life might be different if only I had " done this and not that".... if only "I had not done that".... the proverbial path not taken. Now those thoughts are all consuming.
For those of you who are reading this across the world, those directly afflicted with the disease my heart aches for you. I know how you feel and I know you know how I feel. Never before have I ever felt such a connection to complete strangers, people reading this both young and old, from all walks of life, all with one communality- the misfortune of being diagnosed with cancer. This blog truly is for you.
When I first started to write my blog I did so, partly as therapy, in part to keep busy and, in part, with the hopes of eventually commercializing my blog. As I wrote and my readership grew and grew and spread across the globe, each posting seems to bring a reader or sets of readers from a different part of the world- and my reason for writing has changed. Now whether I ever make any money from my blog is of no consequence, my sole motivation is to lend comfort and support to those afflicted with cancer, especially to those whose coping mechanisms are not a finely developed as mine. It is for those that truly need this the most, it is for those that I truly write, it is to those that my heart truly goes out.
The fact that 99.9% of the feedback I get is positive is very rewarding. Those who know me best, myself included, for me to get a 99.9% approval rating in anything is a miracle in itself.
To my oldest and dearest friends, the one's that continually check up on me, to make sure I am "ok".... it is you who provide me my strength, my ability to cope. You are never far from my thoughts and I will forever be thankful for your friendship and continued support.
To that one very special
woman who recently entered my life, the one who gives me support and
encouragement each and every day- you mean the world to me. No words will ever
show just how much you mean to me. I love you.
To wake up every morning knowing there is this "thing" in your body that is slowly but surely eating away at your very existence is truly frightening. The thought never really ever leaves you. Keeping busy, getting on with your life as best you can, allows you to get a temporary respite, but it is the quiet moments when you are alone and you reflect on your life... the good things, but more importantly the missteps. Before I became ill, I would from time to time reflect how my life might be different if only I had " done this and not that".... if only "I had not done that".... the proverbial path not taken. Now those thoughts are all consuming.
For those of you who are reading this across the world, those directly afflicted with the disease my heart aches for you. I know how you feel and I know you know how I feel. Never before have I ever felt such a connection to complete strangers, people reading this both young and old, from all walks of life, all with one communality- the misfortune of being diagnosed with cancer. This blog truly is for you.
When I first started to write my blog I did so, partly as therapy, in part to keep busy and, in part, with the hopes of eventually commercializing my blog. As I wrote and my readership grew and grew and spread across the globe, each posting seems to bring a reader or sets of readers from a different part of the world- and my reason for writing has changed. Now whether I ever make any money from my blog is of no consequence, my sole motivation is to lend comfort and support to those afflicted with cancer, especially to those whose coping mechanisms are not a finely developed as mine. It is for those that truly need this the most, it is for those that I truly write, it is to those that my heart truly goes out.
The fact that 99.9% of the feedback I get is positive is very rewarding. Those who know me best, myself included, for me to get a 99.9% approval rating in anything is a miracle in itself.
To my oldest and dearest friends, the one's that continually check up on me, to make sure I am "ok".... it is you who provide me my strength, my ability to cope. You are never far from my thoughts and I will forever be thankful for your friendship and continued support.
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